In this first ever LIVE recording of an Ask a Mormon Sex Therapist podcast episode Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins the Mormon Marriages team to address the following questions…
Question # 1 - “My wife and I are trying to conceive. This is one of the most stressful times of my life, and stress is a major anti-aphrodisiac for me. How do I confront the pressure to perform?”
Question # 2 - "My wife has a “fun” sexual past with her high school boyfriends. Before we dated she had shared too many of those experiences with me. I was fine with it, until I woke up to her crying on our wedding night. It triggered a jealousy and resentment where I feel she gave “them” her fun self. I got the Mormon prude and they got the fun girl. I love her, but I feel like she has never chosen me. I get that I’m at fault with the unforgiving heart and mad with jealousy that has built emotional walls. I feel like all our sex has been mercy sex. I don’t even want to have sex with her because that’s what it is. When we become intimate all I can see is her doing “this” with “them.” It makes me regret and feel bitterness that I strived to stay a virgin and be as "clean" as I could. I feel like I have lived life wrong. Since she is a terrific good person and she has the “dirty” past, she is the better more healthy person while I am the bitter/resentful seminary graduate boy. It makes me hate myself that I can’t get over that. I’m over 15 years into this and the cloud just gets darker and bigger. How can I start becoming more intimate with my wife while suffering with this intense jealousy? I just finished your course enhancing sexual intimacy and I am grateful for you and what you are doing. So, thank you and I would love to here your answer knowing it will be painful.”
This episode is part two of the two part live podcast recording.
This episode was originally aired on October 11th 2019.
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